Night Ramble

There is something about blogging at night, usually I'm too tired but have so many thoughts in my head.  Always when I'm laying in bed or in the shower is when I think of something awesome or profound & 95% of the time I don't write it down & tonight since I'm a little hooked on the Falcon's game (again so happy football is back & Go Steelers;) I figured I'd write a blog---plus I'm overdue!

So this is my second week off work.  Last week I had all kinds of "big plans" in where I accomplished maybe 2 % because I ended up very sick.  Both Steve & I got colds, but mine turned into the usual miserable sinus infection.  Guess it happened perfect timing though since I was done with work I slept A LOT! Thankfully Steve is very patient with me when I'm sick & since he was a little under the weather he slept a lot more than usual also!  So now to my first REAL week out of work. 

With that starts the cooking mission.  When we initially decided I was going to leave my job we made the adult choice that we would be eating all meals at home with exception of special occasions to save money.  Little back story for you.  I grew up with the most amazing independent mother who hardly had time to cook for us.  She did such an amazing job raising us by herself & instilling valuable qualities in us---but (no offense momma;) cooking was not one of those.  So I of course through college was one of my few friends that was totally okay with eating oodles of noodles (ramen) or microwave mac & cheese.  This quality carried with me a little too long though.  So when I met Steve who was raised where his parents would cook most of their meals.  His mom cooked a lot (& I have a lot to live up to his mom can cook & so can his dad) which then lead to Steve being the cook.  So when Steve & I started dating he did all of the cooking.  Not even kidding---one of the ways he "won" me over was his ability to put the effort into cooking us meals that I could eat & that he always would go out of his way to take care of me.  He had an extremely hard time when he lost the ability to cook for us, not just because he married a wife who really couldn't cook---but because he prided himself in being able to cook for us & take care of us. Side note for those who don't know I don't eat meat other than seafood & even then I'm super picky with my seafood.  So with that I don't (didn't) know how to cook meat---like seriously at all.  Steve being the good hub would usually pretend that he likes whatever I cook---but I can tell when he doesn't like something.  When you are already battling the worst disease in the world, you can only fake you like something so much.  I've been learning, but up until recently we ate out A LOT.  So here you have it I've become a little Susie homemaker in the matter of a few months.  I clean obsessively now, cook/prepare all our meals, shop, use coupons, bake, make things, organize (that's right I said organize) etc.  *Sorry just got on a patting myself on the back tangent.*  I've had lots of help from lots of amazing people.  From people bring us food to give me a break, to friends coming over cooking with me to teach me new tricks, my new recipe box (thanks Brittany), family & friends giving me new recipes & ideas, my new crock pot (thanks to Steve's parents) & lots of encouragement I'm getting the hang of it.  It was an adjustment to planning meals & grocery shopping the right way but it's kinda gotten fun.  So this week we have Polish Monday I made homemade Perogi's & Halushki (kind of impressed myself), tomorrow is our usual taco Tuesdays, Italian Wednesday, Crock Pot Thursday, & a special addition of Fattening Friday.  

I will keep y'all posted on my progress---but just another example that seriously if you set your mind to something you can do it.  

With that a few things----#1. I sorta (half intentionally) let the cat out of the bag for some of the big things Steve & I have coming up.  I still can't FULLY give all the details but no worries you will get a full detailed blog very soon.  But with that I  would like to say to each & everyone of you thank you for rallying around Steve & I ALWAYS when we need something. I'm beyond touched by your generosity, your love, your ability to make sure Steve & I know each of you care if your own way.  I honestly believe that Steve & I are the most blessed people in the world.  Honestly, anytime I have a need friends, Steve's family, my family, even perfect strangers always go above & beyond & shower us with love & support.  I don't even know if I can find adequate words to explain the feeling.  But know that Steve & I are so grateful for every person reading this being in our lives.  

With that I have something that has been on my mind & while I have the motivation & time to blog I want touch on it briefly.  It has 2 sides.  One is to be a blessing & the other is to share a blessing.  As often as I say that Steve & I are blessed we then thankfully hear stories of how we have "blessed" others with inspiration, motivation, perspective, etc.  This is an amazing experience & I want to continue to challenge everyone to keep the movement.  Sometimes, this is important, you are the only positive influence someone has in their life.  This has come into play in my life both personally & professionally & I sometimes see it as a burden---but with perspective I can see it as a blessing.  You are in people's lives for a reason & you may not always get it right---but when you can you should be building people up.  Encouraging one another.  You never know you might be the only person that reaches out to someone.  You may just have the right encouraging word to say to save someones life.  Never take that opportunity for granted.  I have seen several times in my life where I've missed that chance & I am now more cognizant of it & hope to encourage others to be as well. 

With that---I know I am growing as a person as I learn the balance of "care giving" & "wife". There are a lot of times where I feel like I get praised too much by others.  It helps to be encouraged (see above;) but sometimes I feel so lost when it comes to care giving.  I am learning & I am growing through it.  It has been such an adjustment as I touched on earlier from going from Steve catering me (literally) to me being responsible for everything.  I knew going into it, but you never know if you are really cut out for something until you try it.  I will say through some of Steve & my aggravations I have learned so many other important life lessons. I've learned more compassion for other people, empathy, understanding, patience, the list goes on & on.  Steve & I have always been an amazing team but sometimes it gets easy to play on opposite teams.  This happens in every relationship regardless but add our special circumstances it can happen a littler easier. Through each of this & lots of long conversations & perspective we both have learned to see each others side so much more.  I couldn't even imagine asking someone to scratch something & them not getting the right spot---while it can be so easy to get frustrated it's so important to remember that finding that spot means so much when you can't do it yourself.  One of the things I have always said about Steve is that I love his passion & it's that passion that keeps us together, because even if we blow up at each other it's his passion to sit & have a very open conversation that keeps us going so strong.  So while everyone says that Steve is blessed to have me, which I will admit yes he is.  I am also very blessed to have him---he has given me a whole new outlook on life.  I feel like I am growing more & more into the person I've wanted to be & I have him to thank for that.  

I also have each one of you---blogging is very therapeutic for me.  I appreciate y'all continuing to follow our story in spite of my sometimes poor grammar & my tangents.   I appreciate everyone surrounding us with prayer, love, & support & for ALWAYS always rallying around us in time of need. 

We have lots of things coming up in October that I will be reminding you all of but I am tired & this blog is already forever long so for now Good night to all.  Be blessed & be a blessing! Lots of love always! xo