Impermanence

Growing up learning to depend on nature, I felt like I had a true understanding of impermanence.  The tragic beauty of it.  That just as the cherry blossoms bring magic to your life but will quickly disappear (the blossoms last just under 2 weeks), however, nothing taught it more than ALS. 

When Steve was in the hospital for pneumonia, he stopped breathing on me & they had to intubate him (put on vent) and we almost lost him.  A week with some great care he was able to come off the vent for 2 days.  He was able to talk to me again after a week of using a communication board.  I remember crying at the sound of his voice & although we were exhausted from the past 2 weeks, all we wanted to do was talk.  For 2 days until suddenly it happened again. 

He stopped breathing, this time he died for 10 minutes.  Thankfully they saved his life & he then had to get an emergency tracheotomy.  It was time & we weren't ready.  We needed more time. More conversations.  Which thankfully we have because of brilliant technology but sometimes when I hear Steve's voice on recordings it's a poignant reminder that nothings permanent. Nothing's guaranteed.

So enjoy every single minute of every single day.  Because the beautiful gift of impermanence is the reminder to soak in this moment as much as possible.  To stay present & let the rest go. Because the rest truly doesn't matter right now.  All that does is this.