the okay-ness of nothingness

As I sit here starring at a blank blog page, I think, "I have nothing to write about."  Mind you I have a journal with about 20 blogs written as ramblings that just don't seem appropriate for the day.  

The thought of following up the blog I wrote Saturday about the documentary is daunting and leaving my mind at a blank.  If you know me, a blank mind is more unsettling for me than a racing mind.  I've learned to deal with the racing ideas and thoughts, and how to categorize, and sort through them.  The nothingness is too vast.

Getting up early to get back on track with yoga and meditating and blogging, and starring at a blank screen with lots of puppy distractions, listening to the pond going and the birds chirping, watching the squirrels bravely climb limb to limb to the bird feeders, watching the trees dance in the wind, and feeling the brisk morning air; it dawned on me.

Nothingness is okay.  I'm peaceful right now.  I accept this moment; this vast empty space right now. After all that's what meditation is to be teaching me right?  To slow down the thoughts to create the space.  Knowing the space will soon be taken up by Monday routines between bath time for Steve, and dressing changes, and our weekly nurse visits.  I will sit here and appreciate the nothingness.

Because these moments are fleeting and they aren't sent to create panic, they are sent as refreshers.  So often we miss the cue.  We get flustered by the lack of ideas and momentum that we forget to embrace the silence.  Embrace the nothingness.  Allow it to be the refresher you need.

So today I'm taking note.  I will sit in the silence until it's time for Steve's bath, and I will soak up every bit of the refuel that life is offering me in this moment.  Hopefully by sharing, others can experience the beauty that nothingness brings as well.