I'm feeling very disconnected today. So much so I've been staring at a blank screen for 30 minutes and almost decided on not blogging today. We have wound care, some visits, and preparations for my mom coming in town this weekend today, so it's totally justifiable that I don't blog.
I've sort of adopted the phrase, "Speak only if it improves upon the silence." Well, silence feels okay to me right now. The feeling of being disconnected isn't a bad one per say. I'm peaceful, I'm functional, and I'm even a little less distracted. However, I'm also totally disconnected with not just the reality in our situation with Steve's wound, but the world.
In a sense me feeling this, sort of put things into perspective in our world right now. It's full of disconnect. Disconnect from people different than you, different political parties, disconnected from the earth and the damage we cause it daily, disconnect from the violence because it doesn't directly affect us, disconnected from our loved ones......
When you're functioning from a place of disconnection, you aren't fully in the world. I'm not putting my energy into self care, routines, projects, or much other than Steve right now. Even he's getting the bare minimum. Feeling this foggy unawareness is much like the state I imagine much of our world in.
"Eh, no need to worry about that right now. Right now I'm just going to sit here and stare into space and think about nothing." Sure we all need moments like this, and I guess I'm in my time of needing some down time, but how many people choose to stay disconnected.
I can't imagine feeling this way forever, it's sort of zombie like. Yesterday I starred at my list of orders for weavings, and just blankly said, "yeah I'm not doing this right now..." and felt no response. Absolutely nothing. The space that was once feeling anxious about needing to work and do do do. Is filled with nothingness. So I can see why people like to camp out here. It's sort of a peaceful unawareness that leaves you feeling blissful because you don't really absorb what's going on in the world.
However, living in a state of disconnect for long periods is what leads to huge rifts in our world. Not feeling connected enough to other human beings hurting, because we don't want to experience their pain. Not feeling connected enough to our planet, because we don't want to face the reality or even do ANYTHING it takes to help solve it. Not feeling connected to the happenings in the world, so we don't care about injustice taking place. Not feeling connected to our food, so who cares if it's mistreated just feed me!
Does this sound familiar? It made me realize that maybe our world isn't just some place full of self absorbed, ego driven, hate filled people. Maybe it's full of too much disconnect.
So how do we connect again? For me, I have to break routine, which of course is hard being home every single day. It's also me seeking connection with others in real life form. Luckily my momma will be here this weekend she will help me connect again, but what about the rest of the world? How do we help those who are so content in this disconnected state, to feel connected again?
I'm not entirely sure of this answer, but what I do know is those who are connected are the ones out there making a difference. The ones who remain disconnected, well, they may not even realize they can be making a difference. I think the solution is to regain connection with others in REAL LIFE again. More socializing in person and less socializing on a screen. I'm sure i'll blog on this again, as I come back to feeling connected to the world again (hopefully soon) because this thought just gave me new perspective on how to play a more impactful role in being the change I think our world needs.