I can't sit in the dark with you, right now...

If you know anything about me it's that I'm constantly doing inner work. It started with my first psychology class, and grew during my time pursuing my masters, to now my many spiritual teachers who just show up to me in perfect timing. Due to this I discover things about myself on a regular. I wanted to share a new discovery, to help give some insight.

I can't just sit in the dark with you.  I can't sit in the dark with anyone else but Steve and myself.  I can sit in my dark & I can sit in Steve’s dark with him, but I think because his is so heavy, then mine; I can't hold anymore. It makes me not be what people need me to be.  It's okay.  I just can't be.  It made me realize how this blog is my biggest tool.

I can't sit in your dark, but I can share how I sit in mine and work through it, and hope that helps you in some small way. I will tell you how important it is to sit in your darkness, but I will also be there to remind you of the light. I used to hold people space, and really help them carry their stuff, without fully realizing how much it drained me.  Realizing this opens space back up for myself. 

I consider it an honor to take care of Steve and it's the most growth I'll ever experience in my life, I'm certain of it. I work my ass off to be what Steve needs and now I'll work my ass off to be what I need.  Who knows maybe when I can hold consistent space for myself, I'll be able to sit with you again. I hope so, but I just have to honor where I'm at.

I like inner work, because the more I know me the more chance I have at remaining on the light side of that ever moving line.  It's a wild world we live in, no matter what you believe.  No matter how you cut it, we all have something we have to work through.  So I'm inviting y'all take a journey in, especially if it's been a minute.

I'm sending you endless love, and I still care deeply for you even if I can't sit in your darkness.  I hope you all truly know that.