Yesterday's blog while important, was short and simple to help me fulfill an important obligation I made to myself, while having a migraine. I was using that exercise to muster the energy I needed to get through wound care, and boy did I need it.
While I was struggling to get Steve comfortable as we had to rearrange pillows and pads that prop him up off his wounds, I was struggling. The truth is it took every bit of energy I had not to rush him through this process because I didn't feel well. One thought helped me through and it was, "What a privilege that my problem is just a strong fucking headache." I could be in Steve's position.
I have very little tolerance these days for people complaining about something they can control, or something they can't. Hell let me be honest while I'm at it maybe it's complaining in general, which is why I'll beat myself up if I do too. Steve didn't complain as we turned his stiff, lifeless body three times to get the pads and pillows positioned in a way where he can continue to heal. He didn't complain when his catheter bag leaked on him, and we then had to clean him again, so tell me again how you are going to complain about that extra 30 minutes you sat in your car that you're privileged enough to own to go to that job or home or wherever you're privileged enough to be going.
So here it is:
I see people sit comfortably from their homes, safe, with their family nice and safe saying things like, "Y'all need to calm down, and let Trump do his job." I have a hard time not to get upset about the lack of compassion or maybe it's the lack of acknowledgement about privilege.
It's hard because we have seen family members, and friends put themselves into harms way for the safety of our country, and I have read people say, "How are we going to help these refugees when we can't help our own veterans, and poor?"
Any veteran deserves our respect and reverence as well as our help, agreed. Tell me, have you helped? Have you donated time, money, services, etc to anything to help our veterans out? How about the homeless you see on the street, did you stop to help them? Did you think about them when you ate your warm meal? YES those people do desperately need our help; but what they don't need is us to then use them as our excuse as to why we can't help others fleeing for their lives.
I do try to put myself into other people's shoes on this and see your point of view; but ultimately where this comes down to, is real humans who have been living in our country contributing to the collective well being suddenly aren't allowed here because of where they were born. For us not to see this as blatant white privilege is probably a large reason why I was struck with a migraine.
Growing up in the church, I learned early on that people love to attack Christians for not practicing what they preach, and while some may need reminded, there are some out there speaking up for helping EVERYONE, let's not forget those. Those who aren't for helping refugees or stopping the muslim ban have been lumped into generalizations; which isn't fair because It's not because they are bad people. Please recognize your generalization of lumping all christian's being bad people, is just as lumping all Muslim's into being terrorists. There are some that hide behind a religion to mask their bad behaviors, it's not the religious affiliations fault, it's the individual persons. While, I'm hoping people can open their minds and hearts to seeing how it is our duty to help anyone suffering; I know that judging them for their fear isn't the answer.
So maybe they need someone to calmly sit with them and show them how if they take the bible as their way to live life, they need to see EVERYONE as deserving of love, understanding, compassion, etc; instead of being seen as a threat.
We are changed by every act of terror on any country, because it's a very small group of a population creating world wide fear on anyone like them. It's what they want, and it's what is happening. I hesitated to write on this because every time I try to become truly educated on the subject, I get another opposing article thrown in my face. It's a ping pong of information back and forth from one side or another.
So instead I look to the people who are actually affected. The videos and photos of the refugees and those being detained from coming to their HOMES. That told me all I needed to know, human beings are hurting because of the lack of compassion or understanding from other human beings. We are hurting each other because instead of communicating with grace we are shouting, and raising fists. We are all pissed, and also so sure we are right, that we forgot how to treat one another with dignity.
I'm sorry if my fear has ever caused you any pain, or if my inability to see my own privilege ever cause you any pain. I'm sorry that we are here; but also I'm still hopeful.
Before you start searching for your stones, let me tell you why. I'm hopeful because we now have an opportunity to apologize for our mistakes, forgive those who think differently, and strip all of it away and really get on a human level. Because the media, the president, government, etc isn't going to solve our problems; because you don't really ever see the whole story or the truth. What is going to save us, is us being stripped of our comfy lifestyles where we've gotten away with avoiding to look those hurting in the face; and finally see it there blinding us. Really look at those suffering, look at their faces.
Look at what a reaction it's bringing from us. I want to please encourage those feeling fear, to follow that fear to the human level. You're afraid for your family, while those fleeing for their lives (or those who fled years ago and have lived here for years) are also afraid for theirs. PLEASE SEE IT, they are hurting, they need our help, don't turn away. If we can do this for everyone, we won't have to be afraid for ours. Is this finally our chance to see it?
I know it's easy for me to type these words, while Steve and I are safely tucked away in our little corner of the world. We don't leave our house, and we have control on who enters our spaces much more than most. I understand that privilege and I understand that the only thing I physically can do in this wild situation you probably don't even understand because it's too hard to look at; is to write. So here it is, a mess of vulnerable true heart writings.
Because I know deep down when you remove EVERYTHING we care about people. Those people who are wanting the Muslim ban to end care about innocent people's lives being ruined by a generalization, but that doesn't mean they don't care about your family or your safety. On the other side, I know deep down some of you who agree with the ban, care about those being detained and the refugees lives, because I know some of you personally. When you remove all the attacking on social media, I know you care; but your fear is winning.
Fear is the enemy here, not people. I am here to ask those on both sides, let's try to communicate again, let's really listen and speak to each other with dignity. I know I'm guilty too, because I'm quick to shut down those opposing to me; so while I do my work, will y'all please join me? It's the only thing that's going to help.