The more I grow the more I see. It's like the blooms bursting through the ground growing closer to the sun with each day.
Learning to care for Steve with every ALS progression and challenge, opened me up to sides of myself I never knew existed. It was like I was only seeing chapter 1 to my inner story. The more I opened myself to the understanding that I am capable, the more I would grow towards the sun. Discovering new areas in life, where I can self sow. I can continue moving forward as long as I choose to. The more I learned to trust the call, and have the courage to answer it; the more life is revealed to me. Often feeling like I had just gotten a software upgrade. The Hope 8.0. Just out.
❤️The beautiful ways in which Steve and I have collided and have been launched forward in our lives purposes, is enough to write a book (see what I did there), but some days I feel so pulled to share here.
His body is now leading me to reconnecting with the earth. I find myself instinctively doing something to help make formulas to help Steve and I. Downloading memories of childhood and deleting the “cookies”, in technology terms, that accidentally deleted what is my truth. As a child I spoke to the trees, flowers, the earth and considered them friends. Over time I was taught this was wrong, or weird. There wasn’t just one event, but a series that deleted one file at a time, replacing it with a corrupt version.
If this sounds familiar it's because the more I reconnect the more I discover; and the more life reveals itself the pull to share the next layer of this increases.
✨Today is Beltane (Beltane week), and today it’s gifting me with lots of new florets. As I was in the kitchen working on some creams/salves, a flower essence, a new batch of kombucha, and restarting some pain and wound oils; I was struck with lightning (figuratively y'all). It was as though I grew instantly in that moment.
Today during wound care I took a photo. I like to take time to photograph the wounds every few months to track progress. I did some comparison and was of course delighted in some areas, and concerned and stretched in others. Steve's body much like our life together (and my entire life really) is guiding me. This time it’s guiding me to use the gifts from the earth, and to learn and soak in as much as I can. As I put in hours to give back to the earth with the garden, composts, speaking up for her, to trying with every choice I make to be making my impact positive and not negative; the more healing gifts she brings me.
This symbiotic relationship felt very profound to me this beautiful Beltane may day. 🌿✨❤️
Increasingly as I tend to my plant babes, I bring back talking to the trees and birds, and now learning to talk to the bugs and chipmunks (asking they be a little more kind to me). As I connect more, and learn more, and experience more with Steve; I feel more overwhelmed with gratitude with love with understanding, with the grace to understand there's always more to learn. Clear messages, without giving the hiccup any drama they become my guides.
Here Hope learn this.
Give your plant this.
Give Steve this.
Stop doing this.
🌿Today my little corner of the world is bursting with life. As I discover and create new relationships, I see more. I feel more. It’s understanding that I'm learning all this right now because some places aren't bursting with life, but with destruction. My surroundings, my lessons, my life is a tool. I see it today and I give thanks for it. Because this purpose will help me everyday to bloom with life a little more each day, and less with destruction; building an effect that goes beyond just my little corner, and out into the world.